All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth (no really)

The other day I was thinking about fun memories and then it hit me: holy shit, this Christmas will be the 10 year anniversary of me falling off a push scooter and busting my face. In Florida. Probably hundreds or thousands of miles away from my home state. Florida.

You see, that Christmas my family went down to Tampa Bay, FL to have Christmas with my Uncle and his then wife. we also drove for 18 hours but that's not the point, I just hated that. going under the tunnel under water was cool though. Anyways, Florida was weird. it was December but it was 80 degrees. I only wanted to go because I heard we might go to Disneyworld. So Christmas day comes and my little cousin got one of those Razor scooters because it was 2000 and that was the fad then. yep, one of these

fuck. you.


well, I wanted a try on it. everything was going smoothly. it felt like I was flying! I was the King of the World! and then I saw a rock, swerved and went down. hard. my cousin's rushed towards me and we can see is that my hands are really cut up. and then I lifted my face up and saw that a good chunk of my front tooth was laying on the ground. I started touching my face only to feel nothing but pain. my former aunt's brothers were with us and they ran towards me and had me open my mouth so one of them could see if there was any really bad damage. there was. not only had I broke my tooth, I broke it so severely that my fucking root was hanging out.

just like that.

breathing through my mouth hurt, drinking hurt, eating hurt, and crying hurt too. and I remember not crying until I saw my dad who just started laughing because 1) my face was bleeding and 2) I kept screaming that I ruined Christmas and then made me call my grandparents to tell them about it. so my mom made the plan that the next day, we'd leave the next morning so she could make me an appointment with my dentist. and then we were begged by my former aunt to go to the aquarium with them.

guess which one happened (hint: not the smart idea). they kept getting mad at me because I didn't want to be there, much less take family pictures. at one point we went to eat and across the street from the restaurant was a hockey rink, which my mom told me that if I was a little boy I could just tell people that I got hit in the mouth with a hockey puck. thanks, mom.

so after 10 years, I still stay away from push scooters and Florida. I've only chipped my bonding once after that right before prom, but that should've been a sign (that's a different story for a different time). and after 10 years, my dad still asks me if I want my two front teeth for Christmas. which I actually don't because now it makes for a good story (like all my stories, right? right?)

Texas state woes

I love my state, I really do. I will defend it as the best state in the whole, entire United States. But trying to get a hold of someone for something important, like obtaining your driving record because you were too poor to do so before? You just might as well say fuck it. I feel ready to flip a table on someone but it could be because it's Monday morning and everyone acts like they don't know how to function this early. at this point, I don't even care about getting the refund I deserve. I just want my record so I can get my defensive driving done and not have to sit in jail/pay the rest of my ticket. good thing I can print this form off in the comfort of my own home and don't have to go to my local DPS* because that would suck

in other, non-bitching news: I'M 99% DONE WITH CHRISTMAS PRESENT STUFF. I love Christmas and I won't even lie about loving presents, BECAUSE I DO. it turns me into a hyper little kid who wants, and does, to wake their parents up at 4 am to do presents. IT MAKES ME THAT EXCITED. I even did stockings for my parents, sister, and Bryan which was really exciting for me. I think I may get my mom a few more ~meaningful~ things for hers because all I really have is a pack of lighters, pens (she loves pens, okay), and candy. I thought of getting her this little juice box type thing of white wine but Bryan told me that was stupid which I didn't so boo on you, mister. maybe I'll even get her some thrift store stuff, she loves that place. I think I did pretty good with them, considering I spent more than planned at Target. I'll totally get pictures on Christmas day because why ruin the surprise for everyone?

and just so this entry isn't incredibly boring/bitchy, check out my new (for 2009) jam. I'm convinced it's about my life, if I were a Canadian rapper. it's even my ringtone.